All posts filed under: Journal


More and more I bite my tongue. I say nothing, for the words I hold back, intentionally or not, will hurt you. Causing someone pain is against my nature. I prefer to give gentle touches and lingering warmth. Yet all I can offer you is this deafening silence. To save you, I will carry these burdensome words. Because the truth hurts more painful than a voiceless lie. Or does it? Advertisements


Disney taught us something impractical. We grew up dreaming of fairy tales. Believing in the idea of a perfect world where good triumphs over evil. That not only does true love exist, but it conquers all. Promises were made about life, about love. But reality fell short. Who will take responsibility for the tears I have shed? When time finally taught me that life is full of grey, and not the black and white of childish lore. Who do I hold accountable for the pieces of my heart? Fragmented in ways only adults could understand. Can I file a lawsuit for false and broken promises? And if I won, would anything compensate for the innocence that was lost? Nothing in the world would.


I knew it would hurt. That this would possibly be one of the most painful things I’d have to do in my life so far. I expected the pain, but this… I never expected this intense amount of heartbreaking sadness to consume me. When will this stop? Each waking moment I linger over the memories of what we had. Seven years of happy moments, sad moments and everything in between. A third of my life spent with a love that shattered me and built me up to what I am today. We were never perfect. Sometimes our moments together would be so effortless, and yet others.. I couldn’t grasp on to a reason for why we stayed together. These past few months have been marked with unhappiness. I’ve felt myself growing more distant from him in the pursuit of my own goals. But it wasn’t until recently that I noticed how unfair I was being. I’ve hurt him, but I’ve also been hurting myself. I know that I did the right thing. People reach a …