Month: January 2014

TO PREVENT INSANITY

It’s building up. I feel it acutely, this pressure that’s slowly pushing against me. A tightness in my stomach. A heaviness on my shoulders. I can’t pinpoint where it’s growing… I don’t know what will happen if I let it overtake me. I fear the discomfort will give way to pain if I give into it. Pain isn’t something I feel like facing right now. So I breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. My mind is a jumble. I can’t think straight. Coherent thought is hard to form with this disruptive and tightening ache. It is an ache. An ache without an origin, growing continuously without any relief in sight. Oh how I pray for relief. Somebody, something, please make it stop. Yet it continues. And I continue. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. I focus on my mantra. It is all I can do amongst the chaos of my psyche. Any control I feel is limited to the steady breaths I force myself to take. And breathe I do. Each puff of air drawing me closer to something…  Cool. Fresh. Clean. Is this what salvation …

SUMMERTIME SADNESS

Warmth. The heat of the sun envelops your skin. Salt. Is scented in the cool, cool breeze that drifts your way. Sand. Your toes find solace in their malleable embrace. Gulls. Content to laze, you pay no mind as it takes off with your avocado and turkey sandwich. ♦ ♦ ♦ Oh how I miss the joys of the beach. With the colder than usual weather that Boston had to endure these past few days, I couldn’t help but visualize the warmer tides of summer. It’s with this passing reflection that makes me think about appreciation. Would I appreciate such simple moments during the summer months without enduring these bone-chilling days of winter? Or better yet, would I be able to fully embrace and appreciate the happier times without those instances of heartache, sadness and pain to compare them to? I think not. Happiness. Sadness. These two emotions are interconnected. You can’t experience one without contrasting it against the other. After all, what is pleasure without pain? An unappreciated paradise. Oh summer, five more months is such …